"Edith! What do you want?"
"Always happy to see me, aren't we?" Edith smirks.
"What do you want?"
"I don't want anything," she pauses, "...I think I might be dead this time."
HE sighs. "You don't say? What gave it away? The vast emptiness of this abyss? The disconnection from time? The fact that you're hovering 2 feet above the ground?"
-Edith notices the space between her feet and the ground, for the first time-
"Wow. For a supreme being, you sure are one caustic motherfucker."
-Edith strolls casually to an empty point in space and sits with her hands in her face-
"I mean, I knew it was bound to happen sometime but I'm still so young, y'know, well...was...
I kept hoping it was all just a dream but...it feels different from all the other times."
-Edith stands up and jumps forward onto more air-
"Plus I couldn't hover before so that's new."
"Yeah it comes with the territory," HE rolls his eyes.
-Edith prances around for a while. She sits down and loudly exhales. HE watches, amused-
"So what now?" Edith asks.
"I don't know. You wanna prance around a little more?"
"I'm serious. Am I going to be stuck here with you for all eternity?"
"Oh c'mon. It's not that bad. We can have deep meaningful conversations about life..."
"Don't..."
"...I also enjoy long walks on the beach and calamari."
"Jesus Fucking Christ! I know why my life was so fucked up. God's an ass, ladies and gentlemen."
-HE laughs. Loud booming laughter-
"Such a bore. Okay you wanna be re-incarnated? Is that what you want?" HE asks.
"I don't know. Do I get to choose where to go?"
"It depends. How big of a shit were you before?"
"I was fairly nice."
"You ignored beggars."
"They're annoying. And some of them are actually capable of self sustenance so why should I give them a cent? Bunch of freeloaders."
"And you never visited your grand mother."
"She's mean."
"She's gonna die soon, just so you know..."
"So I'll visit her here. Mischief managed."
-HE sighs-
"You, my dear, are a terrible person but you make me laugh. Congratulations, you've cracked my frozen soul."
"You have no soul."
"Touche. I'll tell you what, I'll cut you a deal. Middle class family. Norway. Mom's a nutritionist, dad's a dentist so get ready to eat your greens & floss."
"Fine. Do I get to keep my memory?
-HE laughs. Loud booming laughter-
"Did you seriously just ask me that?" HE chuckles, amused.
"And I'm the bore," Edith rolls her eyes, "Whatever, let's go."
-Edith closes her eyes and spreads out her arms. Nothing happens. Edith opens one eye-
"Uhmm, yo...what's the hold up?"
"Oh, you mean't now?"
"No shit. Beam me up, Scotty."
"Okay...well, bye."
"For Christ's sake, stop being so melodramatic and zap me already!"
-HE exhales loudly. Edith begins to flicker until finally, she disappears-
...
"...such a bitch."
